Jul 19, 2009

marriage and the hot, sexy dad

requisite photo for post about love and marriage

This is not about Brad Pitt. Or our hot dad at home. Aaron Traister is the hot, sexy dad I'm referring to in the title. He wrote this very raw, funny, honest ode-to-marriage for Salon, where he even went as far as over sharing about his sex life. He says he had to because apparently, married people are considered baduy these days. But no way he says. Not ALL married people are lying about being happy, or doomed to a life of misery because bad marriages exist. I have to thank him for so eloquently speaking for the happily-marrieds. Here's a taste of Aaron Traister's piece, It's Hot! It's Sexy! It's... marriage!

My wife and I have been married anywhere from seven to 150 years (I'm not good with dates). During those years we have moved six times, and each move was like an exotic gift that happened to be covered in shit. We have each had multiple jobs, and multiple uniforms with name tags. We've been broke, we've been well off, we've been broke again. We've bought our first house together, and it has a giant hole in the kitchen ceiling and sparks come out of the third-floor outlets if you hold anything metal too close to them. We have fought, raged, nearly cheated, and been totally out of sync with each other during chunks of our time together. We've also produced two enormous redheaded babies who are as terrifying to us as Mothra and Godzilla were to Japan in the '60s. We have been depressed, we have wanted more, we have wanted different, we have wanted out. The years since we got married have been the most challenging and at times most frustrating years of my life.
They have also been the most productive, happiest and most hilarious.

This part made me go awww...

Nowadays when my wife looks in the mirror all she sees are stretch marks and soft spots. I don't see these things with the clarity or critical eye she does; if I do notice changes in her I chalk them up to a life full of laughter, good food and fat babies. In my mind, my wife wears those marks with as much style and beauty as she wears everything else. In her mind it is a different story.

It gets better. Read the rest here.

This also made me wonder if any Dads/Married Men actually read this blog? If only they did, I think even full-blooded martian men can get sexy dad's sentiments. Martian.. because men are from Mars, women are from Venus...

Traister's essay is also my official male-voice-version to Barni's classic Love in the Time of Marriage. And you're right Barn, Salon rocks!


7 comments:

jona. said...

:D

Barni Alunan-Escaler said...

wish I could just take this and ploink it right into WM's pages. Great writing, and not trying to drag a compliment out of you here, but I don't hold a candle. :)

Nona said...

Jona approves! Yay : )

Barn, I'm subscribed to the Salon Newsletter. The only publication (I know, so far) that has produced a non-baduy advice column: Cary Tennis. That's how good they are.

Traister mentioning his wife's "soft spots" reminded me about our recent conversation on bras. hehe! I'm hoping the daddies in our lives see well-nourished, colostrum-fed children!

Cely said...

Beautiful writing... and pictures!!
I loved the second part too!

Nona said...

Hi Cely! Pictures from my Tito (uncle) Cholo again. He's gifted, no? And a reminder of days pre-soft -spots-and-stretch-marks!

Nana said...

I love this "just-keeping-it-real" article. So refreshing!

Nona said...

Nana, he had me at "...each move was like an exotic gift that happened to be covered in shit." Yes!